This morning, I read a quote that explains everything about my life since Charlie died.
The loneliest part of getting old isn’t the solitude - it’s the slow realization that most of the connections you maintained for decades were held together by proximity, routine and obligation rather than genuine affection.
I sought therapy, I sought out old friends. I attended grief group gatherings, initiated get togethers. Even though we would have a good time, it didn’t generate reciprocity and lead nowhere.
The only solution it appeared is making new friends, which at this age is difficult to do. Difficult to find persons who have similar interests and do not have mobility, health or financial issues.
What I know for sure is that you can’t keep what is not yours, you cannot lose what you never had, and can’t hold on to something that doesn’t want to stay. Best to accept, let go, and move on.